Throughout my life I have crammed in lots of events, activities and opportunities, both voluntary and paid, with little regard to the possibility of it taking over my life.
I have been a Girl Scout Leader, PTA Public Relations VP & President-Elect, member of many bowling, softball, basketball, tennis and volleyball leagues (competitive and recreational), head coach for several girls softball teams, and Community Council board member.
This doesn't include performing and running my entertainment company, Funny Girl Productions since 2000, being a full-time mother since 1998, and being a devoted and amazing wife (hubby's words) for 15 years. Throw in a few jobs throughout that time and finishing my BA in Special Education, and you got the makings of a crazy lady!
I'd rather describe it as an active girl with ADHD who wants to make the world a better place before she leaves it. Yeah, that sounds a LITTLE better.
But even with that kind of full-plate experience, I wasn't able to complete all of my classes during my first term of graduate school.
Friends, family and colleagues have all tried to comfort me in my disappointment by reminding me of the fact that I AM teaching 6th grade, full-time at a Direct Instruction charter school with an extensive academic and character development curriculum, while in my first year of teaching, while still performing and running my company, while having two teenagers and a pre-teen that are involved in a plethora of activities, along with a husband that works over 55 hours a week.
Ok, when it's typed out like that, I guess it looks like I may have bitten off more than I can chew, but I have taken those big bites before. And although they might have been a bit hard to swallow, I eventually got them down the gullet and moved on. This bite seems to have stuck in my throat!
I decided that I am not going to kick myself or tell myself that I am a failure. I am not going to lie in bed with a quart of ice cream and reruns of Grey's Anatomy telling myself that I am a poor excuse of a human being.
I am instead choosing to learn from this experience and will allow myself to understand that it's OK NOT TO DO EVERYTHING!
My coach did not turn back into a preverbal pumpkin at midnight on the last day of my term, nor did I explode, disintegrate, or die from not getting it all done. I will not be withdrawn from school, but I will be on academic probation and will need to step it up this next term.
But it's ok because I realize now that I am human, not a super hero, which I occasionally liked to believe I was. Lack of enough time in the day, has proven to be my Kryptonite, but I am determined to rise from the ashes, get back on that horse and try-try again. (Wow, was that enough clichés for you?)
I will spend quality time with my kids and husband, stop working by 5pm, and say "no" when I need to. I will hang up my cape with the big "SV" on the back (Super Valerie; what did you think it stood for?) and know that the world will continue to keep spinning and survive without me taking it all on.
Maybe I'll keep the cape within reach; just in case!